Therapist task

Present or facilitate a formulation that addresses four elements.

Context: What circumstances and vulnerabilities increased the risk of the affair developing?

Responsibility: Where did Mark make choices, and what alternatives were available?

Understanding and compassion: Can each partner understand the other’s experiences without having to agree with every interpretation?

Future relevance: What changes in Mark’s behaviour, the couple’s interactions and their management of external pressures might reduce the risk of future betrayal and improve their relationship if they decide to remain together?

Avoid presenting the formulation as though the affair resulted automatically from difficulties in the marriage. Pay particular attention to how Helen experiences any discussion of her own contribution.

When the role-play is over, click here for the Debrief.