Role: Mark

You can now identify many of the factors that increased your vulnerability to the affair, but you are uncomfortable hearing them discussed because part of you worries that they sound like excuses. You want Helen to know that you are not saying that she caused what happened.

If the therapist asks about choice points, acknowledge that you had several opportunities to act differently. You could have spoken more directly to Helen, recognised that the emotional relationship with Anna was crossing a boundary, stopped private communication, responded differently after the first kiss or sought help before the relationship became sexual.

You continue to find it difficult to tolerate Helen’s pain without becoming self-critical. Try to remain engaged, but if you feel that the conversation shifts towards you being a fundamentally bad person, become quieter and more withdrawn so that the therapist has an opportunity to work with this.

When the role-play is over, click here for the Debrief.